He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
