2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
