that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
