My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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