Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
