He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
