Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
