My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
