We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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