So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize