He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
jump out the window naked night went bad
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
