Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
