Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
