Already got asked if we're dating
I think i peed on brittanys purse
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
