No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I cut my penus on the lid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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