She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
