she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
