I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this will be a night to untag.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
