we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize