Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
