GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it's like iHOP with fire
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
