why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He better not be in your backpack
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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