He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
