i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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