There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
