One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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