don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
COCAINE IS GR8
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
