Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
