Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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