She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize