I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
