You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
