ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
