i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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