like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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