I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
