guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
