u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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