I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
