Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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