either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
