Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
