All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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