PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
