His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize