It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
