i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
