I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
