My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
