Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
