I wish I only lived at night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize