I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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