week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
