I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
