I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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