We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
