You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize