Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Randomize
