what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize