I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
