I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize