what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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