Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
