I can tuck mytits in my pants
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
