yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
