pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
