So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
