Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
