the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
