Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
