How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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