i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
