I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
