Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
